President Bush's Exit Interview

The Dorm Dispatch: Hello President Bush, it's nice to see you again. How have you been?

George W. Bush: Well, I've been doing very well thank you very much, still trying to figure out this financial crisis, but screw it, soon it'll be someone else's problem, eh? Haha.

DD: That's an interesting approach you're taking. Tell me, Mr. President, which do you think was a more disastrous event during your presidency, 9/11 or this crisis?

GWB: Well, 9/11 really allowed me to show my true colors as a leader, and wasn't it a great excuse to attack Saddam?

DD: But Mr. Bush, Saddam had nothing to do with 9/11.

GWB: Didn't matter, we did what's American, twist and distort something so it works, haha.

DD: Moving on, how do you feel about your current 24% approval rating?

GWB: I don't think those ratings are that accurate. I've tried to stay under the radar these last few weeks while the other campaigning is going on, in hopes that the American people would forget about me and these last eight years. Leave it to you to remindilize them.

DD: (Snickers) Next question. What do you think was your greatest success during your time in office?

GWB: Well, uh, I'd say that so long as I've been president, my measure of success has been victory... and success.

DD: Sooo, you're saying victory was your greatest success?

GWB: Yes thats correct.

DD: We haven't really won anything though since you've been in office.

GWB: Next question.

DD: But you didn't answer the...

GWB: Next question.

DD: Fine. How do you see the country moving forward?

GWB: Well, hehe, I'm very excited to see the race unfold in the next few weeks. I'm confident my good friend John McCain will pull out a victory over Barack Osama... Oh crap, sorry, still got Osama on the mind. Never could catch that sneaky bastard. Anyway, McCain has a lot of the same policies as me, so the country will do good with him as president.

DD: You really think the country will do well with McCain as president, especially if he has many of the same policies as you?

GWB: My policies helped to get this country to the point that its at right now, so don't even think about insulting a man who holds the same fundamental beliefs as me!

DD: I'm not even going to get into what your policies have done to this country. Last question. What are your plans now?

GWB: Well, I plan to travel the good ol' US of A, talking to the childrens about the importance of a good education. Then I'll talk to the OB-GYNs around the country about the importance of practicing their love with women. America has misunderestimated me, and I'll prove that I'm one of the greatest American leaders in the past 8 years.

DD: Thank you President Bush, we look forward to January 20th